Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
