So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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