i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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