this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this will be a night to untag.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
