Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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