margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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