I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
