I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
