I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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