bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
