Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
