quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
