By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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