One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
