We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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