bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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