I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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