Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
