He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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