I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
