so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
