thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
