So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
