Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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