Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
