Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
As shirtless as possible
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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