why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
