Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can't turn off my feet"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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