yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
