am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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