I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This is my gift to your gina
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
