Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize