You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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