Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
