I'm going to jail i love you
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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