I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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