We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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