is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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