Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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