quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
