New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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