I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
