Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
