we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
