wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
