Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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