Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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