dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
