there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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