PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I want to be your penis for a week.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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